Our Ordinary Ways

Funny how we often rush around, head to the ground, or ear to the phone, going about our business in our ordinary ways. But how often do we think about our friends and what a friend really is? There is not a fail safe test you can give a friend to see if they are loyal or true or good or bad, right for you or not, you just wing it! We all have needs having spent most of our lives honing in on different people we are attracted to and or repelled by. We become turned off or enchanted, some folks immediately rubbing you the wrong way and some delighting you just as quickly. Some will make a mark on our lives for all time. But what is it? What is it we are seeking when we seek a friend? Perhaps that depends on the mood and extent of our needs at the time. 

As for myself, trust is a huge issue and in friendships one that does not just magically appear, it takes time and experiences and then you find yourself traveling down the road towards it. Time after time opportunities to meet new people for making new friends occurs, then judgement arrives: rears it's ugly head affecting many of us to not even try. Why? Maybe it's the way they look or what they are wearing, maybe it is the car they drive or don't drive.  Simple human stupidity once again and indeed it is often more than not,  your own fault!  Just things you pick up and absorb, like a sponge, we pick up dirt and harshness from our world around us, a sediment yes, tho' grimy, we can easily remove it with a little work!

All the out dated ways of thinking we once where told to believe, what a turn off I mean really sometimes the human race can look so vile and cruel, so why make it any worse? Some people must however some people love &THRIVE on being cruel, bitching and griping, name calling and grabbing. I had a friend who once asked me for a favor coincidentally when I was looking for a similar favor; favors exchanged we could have worked well together, had a beautiful relationship and conquered the world with creativity, but no, she was an odd friend, no friend at all as it turned out. A simple problem but beware,when your friends act like they want you to be friends with their friends but they don't, not good as I found out.

In one swipe this "friend" had the power to take all my new friends away, and she did.  'For so as love is for your growth he is for your pruning.'  I was touched to have ever known them at all, very  blessed with all these beautiful neat people, awesome & loving so much it broke me emotionally when I was no longer able to accept  I know by some of the words they shared, they where smart people too. Some of these people I knew years ago, they where related to "this friend" awesome kids I fell in love with as babies, now all grown up! I had made a new family and I fell in love, but my heart it had to break and rip as I did sacrifice all of them, not for myself but for each of them who had known "this other friend" for many years but had just gotten to know me over the course of a year. I was not really allowed in their world, no- it was pretty sewn up & there lively hood depended on it. I lost out on great people I still miss dearly,but the original friend, oh I will never understand the viciousness of the female heart. The kids I m blessed to still have in my life.

Friendship is like a plentiful mine of gems, their are many different kinds, each beautiful in it's own way. Many shapes and sizes no matter what "the look" stay open to all. That is why racism and intolerance is complete ignorance, Here is what I do know- if you are trapped in a situation and your life is in the balance & someone has your back, shows you assistance in a time of need, if they are transgender, straight, gay, black or Mexican; when they save your ass, they saved your ass! If you are a hater and intolerant: you will learn at this point their is no matter what color your skin or what you get turned on by, everyone is valid. When you know what a real friend is you will know they are as varied as the stars and the more you limit them you limit yourself! You would understand a quick lesson of life, it matters not what race or sex they are, it matters only who you are and are you are willing to change it?

I have never understood racism  but at best guess it appears usually based in out dated philosophies of our out dated forefathers and other influences, people filling you up with ideas and ideals it is these things we often base our morals and core in; these things often absolutely false. How do I know? Well, of course I have lived it I have seen it and I have come to change my ways of thinking too, for although I was never racist per say  it wasn't until I entered the mental health field doing art therapy and care-giving that I saw how judgement works.  The people I worked for had been judged all their lives becoming buried in judgement as well. How could they not be? Simply put, it is a learned behavior and unfortunately some of our most important teachers can be guilty of it, no time for blame, just move forward.

Until you release your judgement you will be trapped, trapped in your own mind, in all your own hang up's; this was my "fabricated friend's" problem, and luckily I get that now, so I am no longer trapped in unrelenting heart break of losing all those awesome people I had once fell in love with. I will love harder, I will be better and I will stay open, would you like to join me? I m sure you will find it an utterly unpredictable joy of life; you never know what's going to happen next, and ain't that grand?